Have you ever wanted to have complete control over everything in your life? Do you not like surprises and want everything to be lined up in an organized way. How about do you want to be prepared for everything in life and knowing that everything will work for your favor. To put it pointedly... have you ever wanted unquestionable control of your life or others?
I have lived a great deal of my life wanting to remain in control of a lot of things in life. I used constraint to control my emotions. I have tried to control my future by pursuing educational opportunities and paths that I thought would be the most fun and prestigious for me. I have wanted control over situations in the work place because I had the opinion that my way was the best. I have done a great deal of things that could be seen as horrible in order to keep control to stay on top of things and to attempt to be someone who had the power.
I would "allow" God to have control over my life as long as I had the option or veto power that I occasionally used. That's not really giving control is it? I was rebellious and wanted to control everything so that I didn't have to deal with uncertainty and hurtful parts of life.
Not any more...
I am currently in a season of powerlessness... of no control... of complete dependence on God... I may not like it at times... I am certainly not used to it and I especially hate depending on others for things because sometimes I think that they would let me down and not do things right. But I am discovering more and more that life is all about people and that life is meant to be lived communally, not everyone for themselves and selfishly concerned for yourself.
It's like learning how to walk and talk all over again. Everything is in slow motion and everything is in small words... Pride is forced to fall, certainty has gone out the window, shame and pain is slowly... sometimes very slowly being conquered... fear is losing it's grip on parts of my life... and God is replacing previous strongholds with citadels of faith and trust.
It's a slow process and one that is not being completed by myself... I have caring family and friends and a God that doesn't let go... even when I think that He is silent and when I neglect my relationship with Him...
Do you know that God never neglects His relationship with you... He is always there for you even when you are running from Him or when you are static in your faith. Jesus doesn't release you from salvation because you neglect Him... He came to seek out and save the lost... to comfort the hurting...
Christ has always been in control and always will be. God has established His throne forever and His 
sovereignty is unquestionable... So the question is not really "Who is in control" but more of a recognition that God is in control and gives us the ability to make free choices in our life.
sovereignty is unquestionable... So the question is not really "Who is in control" but more of a recognition that God is in control and gives us the ability to make free choices in our life. For me... God is in control and I pray, hope, believe, will fight for and trust that He will always remain in control... even when I lapse into my old past habits of controlling...
Who's in control in your life?
Blessings,
Sam
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