Grace...

Recently I've been contemplating the powerful break through that happens in ones life when they fully realize that grace is real. Yeah yeah, everyone hears about grace in church or at least in some capacity in their lives (or at least I hope they do), but do we really understand what it means to have the grace of God. Sometimes I find myself living a life that doesn't acknowledge the grace of God, sure you could ask me and I would say yes, God has given me grace, but in reality I would be thinking and feeling as though I was under condemnation, a state where grace does not reside. Grace... a free and unmerited gift from God. Yet in my mind I think I have to work towards grace, to be perfect enough to deserve grace, to "do" enough good things that I can be eligible to "feel" the grace of God. Granted this isn't always where I am at and I'm thankful for the times when I have enough sense to realize this, but the reality is that I really feel this gracelessness sometimes. This is especially made evident in the times when I fall in flames in my own personal struggles and sins... I feel as though I am a hideous creature that doesn't deserve the grace of anyone, let alone God...

So does anyone else feel this way sometimes, or am I the lone anomaly, the one person who sinned so much that grace doesn't apply to me... Of course I'm being sarcastic, but I believe that there are those out there who feel the same way that I feel sometimes and it's something that needs to be addressed.

I need to know, people need to know, my fellow "I don't feel like I have grace" ers... need to know, that Christ fully and beautifully crafted and worked a masterpiece of grace and forgiveness in us that cannot be broken or destroyed. Christ' grace for us is like a statue of the hardest substance ever in existence and our pathetic attempts at denying Christ' grace for us is like pelting it with feathers, no matter how many feathers I throw at that undeniably sound strong and eternal grace and forgiveness, that statues not coming down.

On a side note, I will nip in the bud all those people who may say that "I" just related God's grace to a statue, isn't that breaking some sort of commandment about making idols or something, Well I don't mean it that way, it was an illustration... (okay that may have seemed a bit far fetched but I thought it and I wanted to bring assurance to anyone who read this of what I mean)...

Back to Grace...

Just think about that phrase... to come "back to grace"

What happens when we come back to something that we dearly desire yet don't want to admit that we have. It's like coming home to family whom we love and want desperately, yet they annoy the heck out of us and embarrass us in public and we casually pretend that we are not apart of the hokey bunch...

Grace is something that brings us back home with who we were created to be in God... it's not something that we have earned, or deserve, or built up over the years, or have to be perfect to receive (or even marginally good). But it's a free gift, it accompanies Forgiveness, Love, and Mercy...

So what now... what needs to happen now?

We (myself and whoever reads this) must be a people who tangibly recognize that God isn't a cosmic being that hurls condemnation at us. We are the source of condemnation, the powers of this world want us to feel condemned... Why? Because they are afraid of who we are in Christ and how this freedom from condemnation and acceptance of Grace will empower us through Christ to do and be people who are world changers.

So as I begin my own journey in my acceptance of God's grace, I pray, I beg, I plead that you will walk with me in knowing that God's grace is real and applies to you, to everyone...

Blessings to you all...

Sam

Breaking the Silence...

It's been a while since I've posted, but here goes nothing...

Breaking the silence... do you ever feel like God and the world seems to be silent... or at least distant in some ways, yet horribly ear tinglingly resounding in others? For me right now, God seems to be taking me down a path of faithfulness, of uncertainty, of not knowing the future. It's like being in the eye of a hurricane, one moment all hell is breaking loose and the next everything is calm and silent. Yet you know that this peace is temporary because change needs to happen, change that will be messy, brutal, and undeniably necessary because as God reveals things even in the midst of the silence from Him in all other fronts, I am left ragged and chained to the only things that seem to keep me rooted to Him... His word, worshiping Him, and friends and family. As I write this I am faced with decisions that will shape the rest of my life. I'm not prepared to make these decisions. I want to know everything... to know the outcome of each decision in order to make the best decision possible. To step out in faith is scary... and I don't want to all the time. I want to be in control, I want to set the rules, I want to succeed...

So as this ultimatum of selfishness breaks through the silence of my heart and comes to life in these words now.

Yet.... change.... is.... coming.... now...

A change away from selfishness. A change away from faithlessness. A change away from uselessness, away from having no confidence...

Breaking the silence of the status quo, breaking the silence of those people who have come before me and who live now, of my past actions and supposed future plans...

Sometimes blogs do not have to make sense, they could be incoherent, not written with the most finesse and grace, like this one... but it's an outlet of thoughts... of fears, of losses, of gains, of breakthroughs and setbacks... to express and become something more than a hidden silent voice, but to become someone who wants to share life.....

I don't know what the future holds, but what I do know is that I want the future to be what God wants, yet I hope and pray that as I follow God I won't become bitter or apathetic because of the potential that God will lead me down a path that would be contrary to my dreams and passions... honestly, I would rather follow God than my dreams and passions, but sometimes this following does hurt, like being willing to jump in front of a bullet to save a friend...

Until next time....

blessings to you all