From the beginning of this season of life I have seen the ever present love of God flow in numerous ways both in the real and in the spiritual realms (if there is even a dissipation between the two). Yet I have been working through the concept of what really defines a "low" time? To me a "low" time represents those times when I fail (usually monumentally and very publicly), those times when I loose touch with reality, when I think thoughts like "Gee, I don't have a job yet, maybe something is wrong with me" or "why is it that I can't get a job?" Yet when I think those things, say them out loud, even write them now they seem petty, a bit short sighted, and overshadowed by the real pain, suffering, and needs of countless hundreds of millions around the world.
To them, my lows are their highs (now this isn't saying my horrible failures are their high, I was merely referring to finances and the opportunities that I have been blessed with). So when I go through the periodic and sometimes frequent lows I am left with a stymied sense of either "try harder next time" or sometimes "God everything is in Your hands, but could You notice me over here." Maybe our lows are the times when God is wanting us to notice Him.
What about the high times, the times of blessing, the times of success, the times of acclaim, the times of "things just are working out, despite my own effort," the times where we see God clearly in the beautiful moments of life. Do these times represent a "noticing" of God's presence, the only time when we attribute sovereignty to God. (to be honest I'm still formulating my own thoughts about that last statement).
What I want to embrace continually are the "now" times. The continual and organic relationship with God and people on an intimate level that surpasses all understanding of highs and lows. To live with an understanding that God is constantly, unwaveringly, with perfect love, grace, and peace... wanting to have a beautiful, radical, relationship with me, with you, with humanity. God describes this relationship like a husband and bride, humanity, those who follow after Him, the "Bride" is something that He cherishes, He died for, He is willing to fight for. When I think about the now times, I am caught up in the reality that life may be perfect or lousy but with God life is consistently awesome, beautiful, without words, hands down the best...
Someday I want to be married, I pray this will happen, I pray for my future wife and kids, that they will know Christ and be healthy. This is a dream that I am willing to fight for, but I refuse to force into being... just like Christ does not force us into a relationship with Him. We are not forced to notice Him, but when we do it is beautiful, like seeing your bride coming down the aisle or seeing your husband's radiant smile as you approach him... it is a now moment because you realize that this is the real thing, this is what life is supposed to look like... even in the midst of suffering, pain, success, real joy we recognize that God is eternal, His love does not change, and He continually is waiting in anticipation for us...
So, this blog may not be specifically about highs and lows, but I think it's about something important and for those few who read it, I hope it will mean something to you.
I'll end with this...
"When life breaks apart those great ships of state that we cling to and leaves us adrift in a vast sea of hopelessness and when we are caught up and rescued by a mysterious yet beautiful hero, do we focus on the turmoil of the past or the miraculous rescue when we tell our story or do we hide in shame, because we failed?"
-Anonymous...
I pray peace in your lows and blessings in your highs, but most of all I pray for your remembrances...
Blessings,
Sam
