Be more...

Piano... check... Mac... check... headphones... check... soul ready to write... check... er... sometimes

Not many people know that I write songs occasionally and there is usually a tune rattling around in my head... It's just the way I was made... with a song in my heart and an extreme passion to just lay it all out and share with others...

Recently I have been making a little bit of headway and have been writing a bit more frequently... and I love it... often I ask myself if this was what I was supposed to do... then I go back to work on Monday and start the race again... wandering through life just trying to survive...

Does anyone else have dreams or desires like this? Why don't we pursue them fully?

One of the lines in my most recent song goes like this:

Be aware there are people

Living to survive

Hoping for their dreams to revive

Make room in your heart

I want to be a person that goes beyond survival... don't you?

I firmly believe there is a yearning deep inside everyone that wants to be more than they are... I have that feeling all the time... like life is wasting away and that I'm too old to do or start anything significant... but I know there must be something more...

The more I find is often found in God... more specifically God is the root of the "more"

Maybe "being more" is the same thing as "being more like Jesus" I'm not talking about being a deity... but rather believing fully in the promises that Christ came to bring redemption for everyone and everything... that includes your dreams... it includes you...

So today I'm gonna write a new song... not only because it makes me happy... but because it connects me to the "more of Christ" in my life...

Be more...

Blessings,

Sam

Tabloid or Epic Novel...

Every good book has a great title... the same could be said about one's life... If the title of your life is "Get money" or "Get sex" or "Be successful" and all that you did in your life was to pursue those primary superobjectives then what was a masterpiece crafted by God is turned into a tabloid magazine...

When we start recognizing that everyone is born with a great God given title and the chance to tell a great story then we will start living what one could call a "page-turning" life... There were times in my life where I can look back and believe that I was living life to the fullest... There were other times where my life looked more like a tabloid and less like a masterwork...

I've learned in my theatre studies that good stories and plots have conflict, something that propels the protagonist toward righting a wrong, to establish an equilibrium... to bring everything back into order.

Conflict resides in many aspects in life... big and small. Yet the beautiful truth for those who are Christ followers is that Christ already re-established the equilibrium... He has already righted all the wrongs... Christ stands as the mediator between God and man ready to forgive our sins if we would only believe, ask, and make the choice to live an obedient lifestyle...

So the real problems that we have in life are just echoes of the battle that was already won through Christ... That doesn't mean that they are diminished or that their effects are lessened, but that the eternal outcome of the life of those who follow Christ is rooted in the unchanging grace, mercy and forgiveness of Him...

Paul in Galations 5 called the root of our conflict "the flesh" or the carnal sinful nature of humanity both in yourself and in others... This flesh has all kinds of descriptions: "immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these" All of these are the roots of most conflict evident in the world today... It is when we allow ourselves to be overcome by the desires or will of our own flesh that our story stops being what God created it to be and turns into something twisted and dark... and that dark story not only effects us, but also others around you... That is why there are Hitler's and Stalin's in the world, why there are hate crimes and mass murders... why people have addictions and why the world is not in a state of utopia... the conflict inherent in sin... the flesh destroys our story...

The awesome thing is that God has the power to rewrite and rework our stories... we cannot change what we have done in the past and the responsibilities and consequences we have in our present and future... but what we can do is seek out and listen and learn from the Author of the universe... Allow God to write your story, follow after His leading... I know that when I have done that in my own life it has always been the best choice for me... sometimes it wasn't the most pleasant, but it has always been the best...

So start today, this minute, this second... begin the first few pen strokes of the rest of your life story... seek after God and make Him your guide and inspiration...

I hope this resonates with you like it has with me...

Blessings,

Sam

Holding On...

When it comes to the important things in life what do you hold on to? I mean really, when you peel away everything, all the cliché’s and the nice sayings and get down to the nitty gritty what is it that you make a priority in your life? Maybe it’s your career, or your favorite hobby or sports team, maybe it’s even more than that… Maybe your favorite pet, or even your family? Is God the one you are holding on to? Is He your #1 priority?

I know that I struggle with this all the time. I say in my head and out loud that God is my #1 priority, but in reality He is often put on the top shelf of my life, sort of like a distant memory or toy I like to get out every once in a while. So when do the “words” become “faith actions?” Our relationship with God is sometimes very easy to neglect. Maybe it is easier to live life a little less like Christ and a little more like a selfish child. I mean really, who doesn’t like to have their cake and eat it too? The reality is that sometimes sin is pleasurable at the moment, why do you think it is so alluring to so many people that they sometimes are trapped in sin for decades… for whole lifetimes…

In James 3 God brings up the perspective of a person with selfish ambition. Let’s look at these words for a moment or two… “Selfish”… that is easy… or is it… it means to be “concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure” combine that with “Ambition” which means “a strong desire to do or achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work” So there are people out there who are working very hard at attaining personal profit, pleasures, dreams, desires, happiness, lust, sin… They are holding on with an iron fist to their selfish dreams… to their selfish desires… even now as I write this blog I am thinking, “am I writing because I want to help others and to explore life or am I writing for recognition for people to say to me ‘great blog Sam’” This reality scares me a little…

So yes, sometimes I’m scared that I am making the wrong moves in my life… maybe I am holding onto the things that enable my own sins and struggles. Yet I cannot let this fear rule my life… paralyzing me from going forward or even making healthy choices (even the small ones). The Bible says that we should fear the one who can destroy us eternally… we should have a righteous fear of God. The beginning of wisdom is the fear of God. So take the risk to let go of sins… even if you can only muster deciding not to sin once… make it the first step of many. Let the righteous fear of God give you wisdom and help during your times of need.

Holding onto the temporal things… without a clear and defined dependency and iron like grip on God will never really satisfy you. It might bring about temporary happiness and goodness… but the real joy found in Christ is only found in Him and through Him. This joy, the love and forgiveness, the peace, patience, self control, God’s kindness is the real “needs” that God promises to provide. Hold on to Christ, let go of everything else… the important God given life giving things that God promised like I mentioned above will be the result… maybe it won’t be apparent at the beginning… but have faith and trust in God…

Blessings, Hold onto God... He will never let you down in what you "really" need...

Sam

Shattered...

Have you ever gotten in a rip roarin' pulling no punches, all or nothing fight with God? I'm talking about a time when you were angry and really just started spewing lies about yourself, about others, about God, and twisting how God "is treating" you at the moment and the truth of how He genuinely loves you. That has been me in an almost predictable cyclical pattern in my life for the last few years. Everything will be going great... I will be working hard and trying to propel forward life and also trying to serve God and others and then... WHAM... something either real, emotional, or spiritual will knock me off of my feet and slam me into the proverbial ground so fast that I can't do anything to avoid the pain.

It is during this time in life that everything is shattered in the initial perspective of the situation. Following God's will isn't always the easiest thing to do and it doesn't always end with comfortable happy circumstances in this life and there is always the chance that what we thought was God's will or calling on our life really wasn't what He wanted, but more of a personal dream or desire. It's like a child wanting candy and pursuing it but God coming along and giving us the good nutritious foods that sometimes taste horrible initially but help us to grow healthily in the short and long term.

I don't think that I'm alone with what I've said above. I mean, Jacob fought in the desert with God until He was blessed... If we even look further back into the lives of Jacob and his brother Esau, even before they were born, Jacob was already chosen by God. Esau did absolutely nothing to not be chosen, but that was just how God operated. Granted Esau's descendants created the kingdom of Edom, God still blessed Esau, but his blessing for Jacob was much much different.

Have you ever felt like an Esau... like you were in a situation outside of your control and someone else was being chosen over you, or someone else had better opportunities and was used by God. Ever since the beginning of time people have struggled with this kind of situation. Consider Cain and Able... Able's sacrifice was accepted... Cain's wasn't. Cain probably worked very hard to prepare a sacrifice to God... but it was his heart... how he sacrificed to God that was different than his brother. This kind of gut feeling of first inadequacy or misplaced, wrongly motivated effort has the power to breed sin. For Cain his anger and feeling of not being accepted by God fueled murder... the first murder...

The thing is when we serve God and go through rough times... even semi rough times, heck if we accidently trip and fall and start trying to blame anything and anyone other than ourselves we are not recognizing that as Christ followers we no longer live our own lives... we live for Christ... (Not as Christ, but His death gave us new life, this life is not our own but His life, we live for Jesus)...

So sometimes I feel shattered... up against a physical, mental, spiritual wall with no escape but to admit my brokenness and my own pride and rebellion against God and fall at His merciful, grace-filled loving feet and worship the fresh dream giver... God saved us from ourselves and sin... He certainly has the power to pick up our shattered lives, dreams, goals, desires... and form us into new and better dreams.

So I'm shattered... but I'm excited to see how God is going to put me back together again... after all, sometimes the best masterpieces come from ordinary things and people...

Blessings...

Who's in control...

Control: the power to influence or direct people's behavior or the course of events...

Have you ever wanted to have complete control over everything in your life? Do you not like surprises and want everything to be lined up in an organized way. How about do you want to be prepared for everything in life and knowing that everything will work for your favor. To put it pointedly... have you ever wanted unquestionable control of your life or others?

I have lived a great deal of my life wanting to remain in control of a lot of things in life. I used constraint to control my emotions. I have tried to control my future by pursuing educational opportunities and paths that I thought would be the most fun and prestigious for me. I have wanted control over situations in the work place because I had the opinion that my way was the best. I have done a great deal of things that could be seen as horrible in order to keep control to stay on top of things and to attempt to be someone who had the power.

I would "allow" God to have control over my life as long as I had the option or veto power that I occasionally used. That's not really giving control is it? I was rebellious and wanted to control everything so that I didn't have to deal with uncertainty and hurtful parts of life.

Not any more...

I am currently in a season of powerlessness... of no control... of complete dependence on God... I may not like it at times... I am certainly not used to it and I especially hate depending on others for things because sometimes I think that they would let me down and not do things right. But I am discovering more and more that life is all about people and that life is meant to be lived communally, not everyone for themselves and selfishly concerned for yourself.

It's like learning how to walk and talk all over again. Everything is in slow motion and everything is in small words... Pride is forced to fall, certainty has gone out the window, shame and pain is slowly... sometimes very slowly being conquered... fear is losing it's grip on parts of my life... and God is replacing previous strongholds with citadels of faith and trust.

It's a slow process and one that is not being completed by myself... I have caring family and friends and a God that doesn't let go... even when I think that He is silent and when I neglect my relationship with Him...

Do you know that God never neglects His relationship with you... He is always there for you even when you are running from Him or when you are static in your faith. Jesus doesn't release you from salvation because you neglect Him... He came to seek out and save the lost... to comfort the hurting...

Christ has always been in control and always will be. God has established His throne forever and His sovereignty is unquestionable... So the question is not really "Who is in control" but more of a recognition that God is in control and gives us the ability to make free choices in our life.

For me... God is in control and I pray, hope, believe, will fight for and trust that He will always remain in control... even when I lapse into my old past habits of controlling...

Who's in control in your life?

Blessings,

Sam

Finding Absolution..

This is just a few thoughts that have been rumbling through my head recently.

Does anyone ever not feel forgiven from their sins? I mean is there such a thing as "feeling" forgiven or is it more of a matter of unconditional faith. Sometimes I don't feel forgiven, but I "think" I'm forgiven, I "say" I believe I'm forgiven and I attempt to "do" the faith practices that often times the forgiven follow, but to "feel" forgiven? There must be more than feeling...

This promise of perfect absolution from the consequences of sin... to be forgiven.... I believe must be more than a feeling... it is something much deeper. It is a reunification with the creator of the universe and an accepting of guilt and trusting that through Christ' sacrifice you have been forgiven from sin... it is a complete surrender to Christ and a recognition that He is the Lord of all that you are...

The feeling of forgiveness is never specifically promised (I think, please correct me if I'm wrong). What is promised is forgiveness from sins from those who confess that they have sinned and believe (really genuinely believe) that Christ is Lord, their Lord and only sovereign power over them. This is a love promise. A promise to love and protect you just like a husband to a wife and a father to a child. As followers of Christ we are called "children of God" and we are also called collectively "the bride of Christ." Those are powerful positions of closeness to God.

I am not married nor do I have any children, but for those of you who are married and/or have children I am taking a leap of faith that you would do almost anything to protect them from harm and to nurture them toward living healthy lifestyles that engender genuine love and care for others. That is the sort of forgiveness that Christ offers. It is a forgiveness that represents one life given freely to be killed in order to save another. This act has been made famous in movies, literature, legends, stories, etc. To die for someone is considered to be an act of selflessness.

All of this I believe to be true but sometimes I don't act like it is true. I wallow if fear, worry, or anger... thinking that I am lost and not knowing what to do. Sometimes I walk with utter confidence and peace knowing that God has forgiven me and is guiding me whether I know it or not. Often times it's a mixture of both doubt and faith. That is normal but is it ideal?

Finding your absolution... the only absolution in Christ sometimes is a journey but it is always always always there for you... Christ is always ready to forgive and never ceases to love you, no matter what you have done or will do or want to do.

I am forgiven... sometimes my own choices and sins keep me from feeling forgiven, but in the end I rediscover my forgiveness when I run back to Christ... He never lets you go... How do you find forgiveness... where does your absolution lie?

Blessings,

Sam

Dependable...

Dependable... adjective, meaning trustworthy and reliable...

I serve the God who is trustworthy and reliable... even when I am not. Have you ever made choices or said things that later you cringe or tremble when you think about them... Careless words or actions that cut to the core of even your staunches beliefs... I have been a few situations that I would love to change and take back, I've said and done things have compromised who I am as a person but the reality is that everyone makes mistakes and everyone breaks down... everyone, that is, except God...

This isn't to say that I am putting God on the same level as humanity... but as a Christian and a follower of Christ I can rest assured that even in the midst of the blackest mire and muck that I could ever think up or get myself into God is there and He doesn't turn away from us. He is the strong arm ready to pick us up and the gentle soother of our souls when we work through our own struggles and trials.

There is a sense of justice and discipline in the nature of God... He disciplined the Israelites when they sinned against Him... consider when Israel rebelled against God several time throughout the Bible and God let them go into the hands of their enemies... suffer pestilence, drought, and famine... but as soon as they threw down their idols and turned back to Him, forgiveness, grace, and mercy were there... He is a dependable God...

Mercy and Grace... wow these two concepts are very hard to accept sometimes... consider that we live in a society where everything is completely self focused and increasingly becoming more and more hedonistic. For me I struggle with not accepting God's grace and mercy because I think that I can do it all by myself... but in reality I am left empty and deeply wanting. Grace and mercy are often paired together in the Christian world but sometimes the nature of these attributes of God are separated from His love. What I mean is that Grace and Mercy without of love would be empty. So for people like myself who sometimes begrudgingly accept the grace and mercy of God must first grapple with the reality that God loves us... I say grapple or struggle because Love... real love... especially for those who have a distorted understanding of love is sometimes hard to accept. It's like an abused dog that is picked up by a loving family at the pound. The dog at first doesn't understand the love he is receiving from the family... all that he has known is hardship, mistreatment, or abandonment... possibly even abuse. The family nurtures the dog into accepting love, but this takes time.

Accepting God's love sometimes takes time, but God's love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness never diminish or leave... He sticks around... He is dependable... even in the midst of our own terrible choices and mistakes... our sins...

Let us seek after God's love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness... I pray that I will grow more confident in my acceptance of God's love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness as I seek after Him... I pray that I will be dependable just like Christ continues to be dependable. Life sometimes doesn't progress the ways we want it to... sometimes dreams are crushed in order to cultivate our lives for something more profound.

Jesus... please be my rock in all times and in all seasons... please be a sure foothold when I am unsteady in my faith or make the wrong choices... please breakdown my pride and please partner with me as I throw down my idols. Remove the high places of my heart and take your place on the throne in my heart. Make me compassionate as you are and dependable in all ways. Please make me open and willing to serve You unwaveringly and please support me when I fall. God you alone deserve all praise and honor and glory...

I serve the dependable God... He is dependable to you even when you don't believe it or believe in Him...

Blessings...